University Offices Cricket Club

University Offices Cricket Team – Season 2000 Review

The Past – Pretty Horrible

One of the most talked about events of the 2000 cricket season was the blistering resurgence of the legendary Cricket Team of the University of Oxford Offices. The team’s history has been long and obviously painful - people who’ve played for the Offices in the past are strangely unwilling to talk about it let alone write anything down, so few records remain. All we can guess is that it must have been pretty horrible.

The Present – Limping Back

Some last minute wheeler-dealing saw the Offices team back in the thick of this year’s Jack Cox Trophy, the University’s inter-departmental cricket tournament. The JCT rules - 20 overs a side, batsmen retire at 50 and maximum of 3 overs a bowler - were always going to have a cultured cricketing side struggling. They also made things tricky for us.

But if nothing else this season has proved there’s life in the old cliché ‘there’s life in the old dog yet’. Though we came limping back into the Jack Cox Trophy with a, no offence meant, ragbag of accountants, auditors, computer programmers and others (your guess is as good as mine), we ended the season with good reasons to be cheerful.

A season, that is, which has seen tribulation, turmoil, and ultimately, triumph and ended with everyone feeling older, wiser and possibly happier than they were before. The numbers speak for themselves. Played 8, won 2, had a chance of winning 2 but ended up just losing, lost 1 without disgracing ourselves, and lost 3 in a ‘if you’re going to lose do it properly’ style.

What other team could boast such fine statistics. Or such fine individual performances. What glorious moments we shared. Our first ever winning catch, taken by Andy Clarke in the drizzle at Cutteslowe. The other Andy’s superb pace bowling and that amazing one handed catch above his head while sweet-talking one of his birds on the mobile, lighting up a fag and finishing off a pint of Stella. Nice one!! Mark steaming in with smoke coming out his ears to splatter the wickets after someone dared hit him for 4. Chris Sharpe’s lofted wizardry, Alan’s streaky seamers and Steve’s steady arm and hilarious bat-breaking routine.

The diving exploits of Richard Cox who literally threw himself into fielding on the boundary. Jason’s huge 6 against the Pharmacology building to cheer us up when we were feeling down and troubled and we needed someone to care. Ian’s dramatic bowling cameo to clinch the win against Physiology (which we learnt means ‘the study of living things’). Incidentally Ian currently holds the world record for most incidents in a 9 ball spell – 4 wickets and 2 run outs. Gregor’s slip catches and solid batting. The bionic arm of Mike Robins. John’s faultless but unrewarding batting display in the first game of the season. I could go on.

The Future – Taking on the Bulk

Thanks to all the players – Andy Darley, Alan Blowers, Gregor Douglas, Mark Rundle, Mike Robins, Ian Leggate, Richard Cox, Jason Sula, Chris Sharpe, John Sharp, Chris Kaye, Steve Kelly, Andy Clarke, Charles Wroth, Dave Shipway, Matthew Davies – and anyone I’ve forgotten who contributed in any way to our cricketing achievements. Thanks especially to Gregor for taking on the bulk of the captaincy work. Thanks also to our supporters; Stewart, Phil, Jeremy, June, Hilary, Christine, Gay, Ann, Colette, Christabel, Judith, Victoria, Chris, Nigel, Simonne, another Jeremy, Richard…and everyone else who got behind us. It was good to know you cared. Next year promises to be bigger and better than ever. We need some decent funding for a kit bag. We need friendlies before the tournament not afterwards (whoops!). We need a bit of practice as well. But most of all we need to keep on making it fun.

Cricket, Lovely Cricket

The corridors of Wellington Square are alive with news of a great event. A bright light has been shone into the dingy offices and the once musty rooms now glow with talk of the wonderful news. People who would not normally grace their fellows with as much as a nod now stop to discuss at great length what they have heard. The Transparency Review and the Resource Allocation Model are suddenly yesterday’s news as anticipation and excitement spread through the offices like a bush fire. In the midst of the furore, however, a shy voice, small and alone, weakly calls out from the depths of the offices, enquiring after the source of the hubbub. The collective head of the whole of the administration service turns, wearing an exaggerated expression of disbelief, to find the source of the voice.

"You haven’t heard?" the many throated beast demands.

The unknown enquirer, having exhausted his supplies of boldness, makes no reply and his silence is taken as confirmation of his ignorance. The gathered officers can not believe this. Surely communication within the department cannot be that bad? Despite their bewilderment at the enquirer’s ignorance, no one thinks to end his anguish and instead they start discussing how someone could have failed to notice the upheavals about him. This continues until a man forces his way through the crowd ready to proclaim, as though he were dispensing wisdom from Mount Olympus, the great news.

"The University Administration Cricket Eleven has been reformed" his great voice declaims.